How do you become a good networker? Is it an art you have to be born with, or a skill you can acquire and hone? Serial networkers - the ones we seem to innocently bump into at all sorts of events - can certainly teach us a thing or two. They seem to possess that enviable technique for making us feel included in their world, the focus of their attention, for a precious few moments before extracting a promise to meet for lunch/dinner/two weeks in Hawaii! If business networking is your goal, then learning the secrets of a serial networker are key.

NETWORKING IS NOT NETWORKING

One facet shared by all three of the "serial networkers" featured in this article is that they all hate the term "networking". Indeed, Pinky Lilani, founder of the Asian Women of Achievement Awards abhors the term. "I really don't like the term networking - to me it sounds pretty pejorative. I love meeting people and building relationships with them, when I like them and see commonalities or areas of communication. I would not network with someone that I don't particularly like even if they could be useful to me!"

Sohin Shah, a specialist in Corporate Finance at KPMG, also negates the idea of "networking". "I don't like to think I am networking. It's all about forming relationships and something fruitful may come of it. If I am at business event I am more focussed in what I will be talking about and it is easier to exchange contact details - this is when you are in essence networking, but I am generally interested in people, their perspectives and enjoy meeting new people - so it is not like a job."

Deepa Patel, a lawyer by profession and founder of the British Indian Professionals Network, has a more succinct definition of networking "Networking is a creative skill that involves having an interest in people and their characteristics. Good listeners are often good networkers and articulate and confident people often do well in networking groups".

NETWORKING STRATEGY

Assuming that you are a good listener and interested in people, how else might you improve your success rate from networking. Would a networking strategy be helpful? Pinky Lilani has a relaxed approach "I try to talk to as many people as I don't know and find out a little about them and if they are interesting, I would exchange cards or set up a follow up meeting."

Sohin Shah is also adopts a flexible approach, "I'm not very mercenary when I attend events. I think it is very important to be relatively relaxed at an event and not scurry from one person to another. You can only realistically speak to a handful of people and sometimes its better to have a few meaningful conversations than several shallow ones. If I am at an event and I want to be introduced to someone, I tend to know enough people now, and I find that an introduction from a mutual acquaintance is better than just approaching a high profile person directly.

Once again, Deepa has a more practical stance. "Intelligence levels are often tested when networking so its essential to be clued up about current events so that you can hold a conversation with a complete stranger."

THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS IN THE PREPARATION

So how should you prepare for the next networking event? Our three networkers all had a different approach. "There are far too many events to prepare for. I only prepare if I am going to speak at an event," said Sohin Shah. " The key is to be yourself - at the end of the day you will forge contacts and friendships in a natural way with the people you will have some affinity towards and where there may be mutual benefit in working together. "

Pinky encourages some groundwork. "I like to find out when I am going to different events who is going to be there - the kind of crowd - but obviously if it is a very big event that is difficult. No I don't prepare - I just go to enjoy myself and hope there will be some inspirational and interesting people".

FOLLOW-UP

Networking gurus advise a rapid follow-up to ensure that the person you've just met will recall who you are. "I always follow up with those whom I have had an interesting conversation by dropping them an email. You must do this within 24 hours or else they may not remember you!" advises Pinkly Lilani.

Sohin has a more reflective outlook "I end up with a number of cards, which I file in a way that makes sense to me. I reflect on who I have met and what I have learnt and where we could do something together."

THE "BRUSH OFF"

But how do you deal with salespeople who keep pestering you? How do serial networkers extricate themselves from difficult conversations or boring people? Sohin adopts the opening-up strategy. "1 try to be as polite as possible and invite others to join in our conversation and start addressing a wider group!" Pinky also firmly steers the conversation to incorporating a wider group, but maintains the view that there is always something to learn from everyone.

Indeed, serial networkers rarely seem to be "off duty" and make useful contacts in the strangest places. "I met someone in the dentist's waiting room who subsequently became a good friend and someone who I was able to refer some business to!" highlights Sohin.

Pinky met good friend Joan Hart on a flight from Washington DC. "Joan's husband was taking over as the Deputy Naval commander for Europe at the time and she introduced to me many people from the naval forces who came to learn cookery from me! She remains a very good friend". Pinky's motivational cookery business, Spice Magic often serves as an excellent "ice breaker" when meeting new people. "Everyone is interested in good quality food and cookery, so it can be interesting conversation starter" she explains.

ICE BREAKER OR CODE BREAKER?

Like many cliques, networks can have a language and code of their own. The more specific the network, the more it'll seem as if others all know what they are talking about leaving you alienated on the fringe. Sohin advocates an obvious technique of "Smile, extend your hand, and just start casually talking about what they thought of the speaker, the event, the food - it sounds obvious but many people are very uncomfortable with just chatting to someone they don't know."

If you are at an event and want to catch the speaker then "something specific about what they have spoken about straight after meeting them will be of interest (we all want to see how our thoughts and views have been received)."

He strongly avoids the 30-second pitch concept. "Overt selling of yourself is never well received, particularly in the UK. You want to be articulate but not unnaturally polished. People want to see the real you and not a performance. The best pitches are to become really in tune with your audience, see what it is that will interest them and discuss these things in an enthusiastic way in the first 30 seconds."

CLOSURE

Similarly the best closing lines are always the simplest. "Its always good to acknowledge that you have enjoyed meeting them" he suggests. "If you do intend to meet its better to just arrange a tentative time there and then. If you are unsure about meeting again it's always good to establish who will contact whom".

"What always works for me is a phone call afterwards, followed by a one to one meeting not too long afterwards and then take it from there."

It seems being natural and casual is a practised skill that comes only after the first few networking events you might attend. So suspend your disbelief, leave your judges wig at home and delve into the mysteries of networking. Given below are Pinky Lilani's Top 10 Tips for networking as a final confidence booster.

ABOUT PINKY LILANI

A committed Muslim, Pinky was born in Calcutta and came to Britain in 1977 after a three-week whirlwind romance in Mumbai, where she was introduced to and married her businessman husband. Wanting to be self-employed and yet have the flexibility to run a family (she has two adult sons), she started a consultancy in the Indian food industry teaching companies to produce more authentic products by telling them stories about India and its culture. Run from her home and spurred on by her expertise, the reputation of her business (Spice Magic) has spread by word of mouth.

Pinky Lilani is founder of the Asian Women of Achievement Awards that have Her Highness Begum Inaara Aga Khan and Cherie Booth QC as patrons. Pinky is a mentor with the Prince's Youth Business Trust, a member of the Asia House special projects committee, the Mayor of Croydon's charity committee and the European Women of Achievement Awards. She has also recently set up the Women's Interfaith Network with Gilda Levy to encourage communication and understanding between women of different faiths.

Click here to visit Pinky Lilani's 'Spice Magic' website.
Click here to visit the Asian Women of Achievement Awards website.

ABOUT SOHIN SHAH

Sohin Shah is a Chartered Accountant by profession who specialises in Corporate Finance at KPMG. He is also active in a number of business groups, including the Vanik Business Group. Through his work, involvement in these business groups and businesses in general he is well networked into the London and international community.

ABOUT DEEPA PATEL

Deepa Patel, a lawyer by profession, is currently an International Development Manager working on strategic business development opportunities with the Indian Diaspora worldwide. As a well-known name for making outstanding achievements in the Asian Business Community and Public & Voluntary Sector, Deepa's task is to raise the profile of her varying communications projects to establish future support and partnerships from a variety of agencies.

Founder and Director of Mauka Opportunities UK - British Indian Professionals Network and Partner of Funkee Divaz Solutions - Deepa aims to bring young like minded professionals together for social and business networking with the aim of breaking through the glass ceiling that holds so many of us back.